I thought I’d kicked this dirty habit of needing to be busy. Yet here I am at 6 am wondering what I should be doing. I’m awake, so I can’t go back to sleep. Lying in bed I feel like I’m wasting this precious time of peace before the telephone begins to ring, the tv is blaring with another Netflix binge session, or the need to respond to social media notifications. I anxiously ask myself, “What should I do,” hoping my intuition comes up with a suitable response. This is my time to go within. However, there is such guilt about it, which surprises me. In the past, I felt guilty for not being more productive. If I had energy and my eyes were open, that meant it was time to work. Entrepreneurs don’t rest, so that meant every waking hour was a time to hustle if I were a true entrepreneur. I’ve long kicked that mindset to the curb for one that allows for self-compassion and self-care. It’s with this refreshed mindset that I’m perplexed as to why I can’t comfortably sit and be still doing absolutely nothing right now. Instead, I feel anxious, and my addiction to being busy has me rethinking my next steps. At first, I try to find a podcast on personal development, but nothing resonated with me. Next idea was to listen to a guided mediation and journal. And then I thought about reading a book to further enlighten yourself on how to be more mindful. That’s when I stopped and questioned , “OMG, are you still addicted to being busy?” Reflecting on how this was even possible, the answer was clear. I had traded the busyness of the entrepreneurial hustle for the busyness of personal development and self-care. And just because it is a healthier habit doesn’t make it any better. Being addicted to being busy no matter the habit, is still an addiction and an unhealthy habit. Signs You’re Addicted to Being Busy You wear your busyness as a badge of honor and pride Constantly feeling exhausted and not having time to slow down Feelings of guilt or anxiety when you aren’t being productive or doing something You’re often thinking about the next thing you need to do and are rarely living in the present Slowing down means you are still doing something like reading a book, watching TV or social media So, now that I’m mindful of my addiction, now what? I challenged myself to simply sit. No book, no meditation, no music, simply me sitting in a room in complete silence. Honestly, before trying to be busy, my intuition was yelling at me to be still and enjoy this time. Instead, I allowed my mind and my addiction to being busy talk me out it. One of my favorite mantras or phrases from Jack Kornfield , a meditation guru, is that when your mind starts to wander during meditation to “simply begin again.” This mantra also applies to those addicted to being busy. When you’re aware of being caught up in being busy, stop without self-judgment, and ‘simply begin again’ as often as you need to do. Self-Care Challenge: Sit in a quiet space, eyes open doing nothing but practicing being still. Use breathing techniques to quiet your mind to the point of stillness. This may be difficult at first, but remember the mantra of ‘simply begin again,’ without judgment. Investigate how spending between 5-30 minutes of stillness makes you feel. When I do this, I like to look out a window and focus on the subtle noises to be fully present. Or I’ll replay a time in my past when I was still, like when I was in Costa Rica and stood in a river focusing on being still and watching the water flow around me. I’d love to hear your feedback, so drop a comment in our Facebook group, women of C olor Travel Therapy .
If a train is coming straight at you, what would you do? You’d quickly get out of the way, duh. So why is it that we refuse to jump out of harm’s way when a train-wreck of a relationship or situation is moving full speed into our lives? My gut says it’s because it doesn’t feel natural to take care of our mental health. Instead of protecting our mental well-being and setting healthy boundaries, this is when we grab our superwoman cape to prepare for whatever will be thrown at us. Why? Because we’ve conditioned ourselves to run towards the drama or pain and not jump out of the way. And then we make excuses for why we can’t focus on our self-care. Do any of these sound familiar: “I don’t have time to slow down for self-care.” “I’m a strong woman of color, I can take on anything just like my ancestors”. “My job/kids/lover/friends need me more, I should put aside my wants and desire” Audre Lorde said it best: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political welfare.” Y’all, we are at war and it’s not a physical war like World War II! When you feel physically ill thinking about your job or walking into those doors every day, that’s a battlefield. That toxic relationship that you’re not ready to let go of is a battlefield. When you don’t set boundaries for your well-being, that’s another battlefield. Letting fear or other people’s judgment stop you from living the life you desire can be one of the deadliest battlefields. The great news is that you have a choice. To remain on the battlefield and fight or to take off your superwoman cape and start taking care of you. Think about all the things that get in the way of your self-care as a train. Would you still stand there waiting to see what happens?
Have you ever felt tired and overwhelmed as if there’s so much to do and no time for self-care, but somehow you still pushed through it all? That secret push of energy is what motivational speaker Brene Brown calls hitting your “dig deep button.” I spent a lifetime pushing that dig deep button on a weekly basis and at times daily in the name of: Love Family Hustling hard Being a strong Black woman Hitting the dig deep button I thought was my secret superhero power. It allowed me to be everything to everyone, which was how I measured my self-worth. Little did I know after losing five people in one year, including someone who was my everything, my dig deep button had malfunctioned. Thankfully, I have close friends who recognized things were spinning out of my control and spoke up, even though I wasn’t trying to listen. However, when three people all say, “Danielle you can’t see it, but you’re grieving and you need a break,” you have to believe there’s some truth. Yet, as an advocate for self-care, me grieving was laughable. I wasn’t crying and even took extra self-care vacation days in South Africa to be by myself. In my mind I was doing ok. In reality, depression had already kicked in right after I got back from Africa (or before) and I mistook it for a bad case of jet lag mixed with a newfound love for binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy. No longer could I act like I had the “strength” to dig deep and continue to disregard the pain, exhaustion, and lack of self-care needed to get past this moment in my life. So I did the only thing I could do, I hit the pause button on life. Actually, I went hella rogue and slammed my hand down on the pause button on life. For three months, I got off of social media, stopped checking emails or my phone and stayed in destinations great for a life pause. Did I feel guilty for letting go of my responsibilities and leaving my still grieving family behind and ignoring concerned friends? Of course, I felt guilt and shame, but I also knew taking this pause in my life was a solo experience and it wasn’t optional. I needed to make my self-care my number one priority, so I booked a ticket to Bali not sure when I’d return. What happened in Bali, shifted everything in my world.
Tina Turner, the legendary queen, has left an indelible mark on the music industry, becoming a symbol of resilience, reinvention, and healing. Let’s take a moment to reflect on Tina Turner’s incredible journey and how chanting became a source of transformation and strength in her life. The scene of her chanting the mantra Nam Myoho Renge Kyo in “What’s Love Got to Do With It” is forever etched in my memory. Through her story, we see the power of chanting. At first, it may have seemed implausible that a few words could have such a profound impact, but little did I know that my own journey with chanting would later intersect with Tina’s. What is Chanting and Its Benefits: Chanting is a profound spiritual practice that engages the mind, body, and spirit. According to Tina, it goes beyond mere vocalization. By repetitively saying sacred sounds or mantras, chanting creates vibrations that promote balance, harmony, and healing. The benefits of chanting are numerous: Find a comfortable seated position, either cross-legged on the floor or on a chair with a straight spine and relaxed body. Bring your hands into Gyan Mudra by touching the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb, while keeping the other three fingers extended. This mudra enhances your focus and connection during the meditation. Gently close your eyes and turn your attention to the brow point, the space between your eyebrows, associated with intuition and inner wisdom. Begin chanting the sounds “Sa Ta Na Ma” along with your breath. Coordinate the hand movements with each sound: On “Sa,” touch your thumb to your index finger. On “Ta,” touch your thumb to your middle finger. On “Na,” touch your thumb to your ring finger. On “Ma,” touch your thumb to your pinky finger. Continue this sequence, chanting audibly, and allow the vibrations of the sounds to resonate throughout your entire being. Start with 11 minutes and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable. As you chant and move through the sequence, let the vibrations permeate your physical body and energy centers. Tune into the latest episode of the Hella Well With Danielle podcast to learn more about my personal experience with chanting and as I honor Tina Turner’s legacy. Transformative Power: Creates profound shifts in consciousness, leading to personal growth, healing, and spiritual evolution. Emotional Well-being: Releases negative emotions, promoting emotional well-being and healing from past traumas. Connection with Inner Self: Quiets the mind, allowing us to connect with our inner stillness and gain intuition, clarity, and self-awareness. Mindfulness and Presence: Cultivates mindfulness, bringing our attention to the present moment and deepening our connection with ourselves and the divine. Tina Turner’s Journey with Chanting: In her book, “ Happiness Becomes You ,” Tina Turner provides invaluable insights and practical guidance on incorporating chanting into self-care routines. Here are some of the best practices and tips she shares: Reflect on personal goals and intentions when choosing mantras. Create a dedicated space and time for chanting. Learn the correct pronunciation and enunciation of the chosen mantras. Integrate breathwork and mindfulness techniques into your chanting practice. Explore different chanting techniques, such as group chanting or call-and-response. Apply mantras in everyday situations to infuse them with positive energy. Use chanting as a tool for healing, transformation, and emotional well-being. Be consistent. Doing a little a day is better than nothing. As we honor Tina Turner’s extraordinary legacy, let’s find our own inner peace by experiencing the transformative power of chanting through this Kundalini Yoga meditation . This meditation incorporates the mantra Sa Ta Na Ma, which holds profound meaning and has been clinically proven to reduce stress, ease depression, improve clarity, and enhance overall mental balance.
Having a high-stress job is already exhausting. And then for many women, we go from work to another stressful situation taking care of our families, friends, and communities. We are not clueless. We know we need self-care, but who has time for self-care? Really, who has time when you are dealing with a demanding job and everyone else’s personal life? Plus, sometimes self-care can feel like we are being selfish. We feel guilty for wanting to binge-watch Insecure – Season 1 when our friend is grieving over a recent breakup. I often look at a woman’s life as if it’s a glass of her favorite drink. She lets her job, love interest, kids, friends, and the random stranger that needed help all have a sip of her drink. However, when she finally goes to take her first sip, she looks down only to discover the glass is empty. We as women (and let’s not even talk about strong women) give so much of ourselves that there is no time or energy for self-care. But that’s just it, self-care is something that refuels us rather than takes from us. In order to fully be present to help others, we need to honor our own needs and make the time for self-care. By learning how to take time for self-care, you’re able to enjoy a few sips or even a gulp of your favorite drink to refuel your soul and keep going. Here are few simple ways to incorporate self-care in your life: 1. Just Say No It sounds so easy, but it’s not abnormal to end up spending the day helping someone else when you had initially planned to take time for you. Learning how to say no is a game changer. 2. Get Moving Exercise is an excellent stress reliever and gives you a perfect excuse for some alone time if you need an excuse. It also gives you a mental break as you focus on the task at hand opposed to whatever drama is filling your life. 3. Give Yourself a Break Even Oprah needs a break and she is probably one of the hardest working women in the world. Feeling burnout is real and can happen to even the strongest woman. That’s why it’s important to take breaks from your daily life for self-care. Taking a trip is an easy way to push the pause button on life and take time for you. If you can’t afford to take an extended trip, consider a staycation or day trip. 4. Work/Life Balance Defining a clear work/life balance sets up house rules for both you and your job. If you are constantly making yourself available at all hours, people will expect you to always be on call, even when you’re on vacation. Also, make an effort to leave work on time if you can. Each time you give an extra hour or two to the job, you are stealing time away from yourself. Of course, there are going to be those situations when you need to go above and beyond for the job, but I always like to ask myself, “will someone die if I put this off until tomorrow morning?” The reality is the work will always be there, but your sanity is not guaranteed if you keep putting it on the back burner. 5. Me Day(s) Plan a Me Day, which is a day when you focus solely on something that makes you happy. Even if it is for a few hours, schedule a time when you are not dedicating your time to helping others. This can be spending a day at the spa, taking a walk around the neighborhood or simply spending a lazy day alone at home. 6. Cut the Fat Figure out ways you can cut things out of your life that are causing you stress. It could be as simple as distancing yourself from that negative co-worker that complains every day about everyone in the office. Even if you only remove one thing that is stressing you out, you’ll discover how making a small change can make a huge difference. 7. Social Detox Think about how much time you waste reading every post and comment in your news feed. By decreasing your time on social media, you gain more time to do something you really enjoy. For self-care to make an impact on your well-being, it really should become a daily practice. But if that is too much of a commitment, start with one day or hour at a time. The rippling effects will transform your life.
Yoga is celebrated for its incredible benefits to the mind, body, and spirit. However, the costs associated with maintaining a consistent yoga practice —ranging from boutique studio fees to the latest gear and attire—can appear daunting and prohibitively expensive. Contrary to this perception, yoga’s essence lies in its accessibility and adaptability, not just in mastering poses but in integrating practice into daily life. This guide is dedicated to offering practical advice to make yoga more affordable and accessible, ensuring that its profound benefits are available to everyone, irrespective of financial status. Affordable Yoga Classes: Finding Cost-Effective Options Yoga class prices can significantly vary, sometimes reaching upwards of $100 per month for memberships. Yet, there are multiple pathways to practice yoga without facing steep costs: Community and Donation-Based Classes : Numerous studios, community centers, and online platforms offer community yoga at little to no cost, providing an ideal entry point for beginners. Free Online Resources : Platforms like YouTube host a wealth of yoga tutorials for all levels. Channels, including Faith Hunter , offer diverse sessions aimed at enhancing relaxation, boosting energy, and addressing specific health concerns. Studio Deals for Newcomers : Many yoga studios feature introductory packages at discounted rates, allowing new students to explore various styles affordably. Yoga Attire: Emphasizing Comfort and Affordability While high-end fashion brands have ventured into yoga attire, essential yoga practice prioritizes comfort and freedom of movement over branded gear: Prioritize Comfort : Essential yoga attire includes simple, comfortable leggings and t-shirts that support free movement. Seeking Affordable Yoga Wear : Discount retailers and stores like Marshalls, T.J. Maxx, Amazon, and Target offer high-quality yoga wear at accessible prices, especially during sales. Yoga Equipment: Simplifying Your Practice The misconception that a complete set of yoga equipment is necessary from the start can overwhelm beginners. However, the reality of yoga practice is much simpler: Basic Needs : Initially, a mat or any alternative that provides a comfortable, stable surface for practice is sufficient. Inexpensive Equipment Alternatives : Practical items such as towels, blankets, or even your living room carpet can effectively replace a traditional yoga mat. For those considering purchases, discount and online second-hand stores frequently offer yoga essentials at reduced prices. The Hidden Costs of Skipping Yoga Failing to incorporate practices like yoga into our routines can have a deeper impact on our wellness, transcending the mere financial aspect. “ Black on the Mat ” delves into the critical importance of maintaining such a wellness practice, highlighting how neglecting our mental, emotional, and physical health can lead to increased stress and disconnection. The true cost is not measured in dollars spent on classes or equipment but in the lost opportunities for personal development, healing, and forming meaningful community ties. To discover more about making yoga an accessible and integral part of life, tune into “Black on the Mat.” Join hosts Danielle and Saisha as they share insights, experiences, and strategies for weaving yoga into the fabric of daily life, ensuring it’s an inclusive, enriching experience for all. Subscribe on your preferred podcast platform and join our journey through the realms of yoga, culture, and community—one breath at a time.
Ever find yourself googling, “What are ways to relax when I don’t have much time?” You’re not alone. In today’s fast-paced world, finding quick relaxation techniques that fit into our busy schedules is more important than ever. I’m right there with you, constantly feeling like there’s barely enough time to breathe. Yet, knowing that if I could just find a few quick and easy ways to relax, I could start feeling less stressed and overwhelmed. So, let’s talk about realistic, quick relaxation techniques to unwind, even when it feels like the clock is laughing at us. These strategies are doable on tight schedules and are effective methods to help you relax, recharge, and feel more balanced. 1. Yoga Nidra: The Power Nap of Meditation Think of Yoga Nidra (aka yogic sleep) as meditation’s laid-back cousin. It’s a guided relaxation technique that can make you feel like you’ve had a couple of hours of sleep in just 15 minutes. Perfect for those days when your energy is zapped, but your to-do list is still looming. I like to think of it as my secret power nap. 2. Speed Journaling: Your Quick Emotional Detox Then there’s Speed Journaling. Grab a notebook and spend just 5 minutes writing down whatever’s on your mind. It’s like having a chat with a friend who never interrupts. The best part? You can literally feel the stress leaving your body as the pen moves across the paper. It’s a simple, fast way to clear your head, gain emotional clarity, and reduce anxiety. 3. Sitali Breathing: Cool Down in Minutes Among the most refreshing quick relaxation techniques is Sitali breathing . By curling your tongue into a ‘U’ shape and inhaling through open with your tongue sticking out and then exhaling through the nose, you can cool and calm the body and mind in minutes. It’s like a personal cooldown mechanism for when you need to chill out fast. 4. Create a Joyful Music Playlist Never underestimate the power of music as one of the quickest relaxation techniques. Compile a playlist of tracks that lift your spirits. Whenever you need an emotional lift, let the music envelop you, transforming your mood in minutes. 5. Get Your Body Moving Quick relaxation techniques that involve movement, like Kundalini Yoga, shaking, or dancing, are excellent for releasing tension. Kundalini Yoga , in particular, is known for its energizing breathwork and dynamic postures that can quickly shake off stress and boost your mood. Feeling a bit more at ease about squeezing relaxation into your busy day? I hope these quick relaxation techniques help. And if you’re curious about deepening your relaxation practice, I’m here to help. I offer Kundalini Yoga and meditation classes, Reiki sessions, and Yoga Nidra as a new service—all designed to support your journey toward peace and balance. Interested in how these services can be personalized for your needs? Let’s explore the most effective quick relaxation techniques for your lifestyle together. Contact me, and let’s transform your daily routine into a more peaceful, stress-free experience. Your journey to less stress starts now.
Let’s face it, between juggling work, home, and the unending responsibilities that come with being the go-to person for everyone, life can feel a bit… much. But fear not, because amidst the chaos, there’s a glimmer of hope, a pause button waiting to be pressed, and it comes in the form of a to-do list. And who doesn’t love to check thing off their to-do list? But hold up, this is not just any to-do list. This one is designed for the overstressed, overworked, overcapacity, and the incredibly busy woman who is always helping others, but doesn’t feel like she has the time to pencil in some time for herself. If that sounds like you, get ready for what may be your favorite list of tasks. 1. Outsource Your Superpowers Yes, you read that right. It’s time to let someone else wear the cape for a day. You know that thing you do better than anyone else? Take a break from it. The world won’t collapse, I promise. 2. Host a Solo Dance Party – Close the curtains, blast your favorite tunes, and dance like nobody’s watching—because, guess what? They aren’t. Let your living room be your dance floor and your spirit be free from the confines of everyday stress. 3. Unsubscribe from the Chaos – Literally. Take ten minutes to clean out your email. Those newsletters you never read? Say goodbye. Consider this decluttering for your digital well-being. 4. Nature Detox Walks – Swap your high heels for sneakers and take a walk in nature. Leave your phone behind, or at least turn it off. Let the sights and sounds of the outdoors recalibrate your senses. 5. DIY Spa Hour – Who says you need to spend a fortune to relax? Find some essential oils, light a few candles, and let your bathroom transform into a spa. It’s about making the most of what you have to create moments of peace. 6. Read a Just-for-Fun Book – Forget about self-help or educational texts. Dive into a story for the sheer joy of it. Let your imagination roam free, without searching for a lesson or moral. 7. Take Silent Mornings – Start your day in silence with your favorite beverage. No screens, no rush. Just you and the morning, coexisting in peaceful solitude. 8. Create Gratitude Doodles – Who needs words when you have doodles? Spend a few minutes drawing what you’re grateful for. It’s a fun, creative way to reflect on the good in your life. 9. Tech-Free Zone After 8 PM – Declare a time each day when screens are off-limits. Rediscover old hobbies, read those fun books, or simply enjoy the art of conversation. 10. Stargazing and Siesta – Embrace the art of doing nothing. Whether it’s lying under the stars or taking a midday break, allow yourself to just be. In a world that demands our attention at every turn, it’s revolutionary to choose rest, to choose joy, and to choose ourselves. So, dear reader, I dare you to pick one (or all) of these to-dos and add them to your list. And there you have it, a lifeline thrown into the sea of your bustling, beautiful, chaotic life. But wait, there’s more where that came from! If you found even a glimmer of joy or a moment of relief in these tips, then you’re exactly where you need to be. I invite you to subscribe and listen to the Hella Well With Danielle podcast for your weekly dose of a mental vacation. Each week we’ll explore countless ways to make life not just manageable, but joyously, wonderfully livable. Because you, yes YOU, deserve to breathe deeply , dance wildly, and live vibrantly. Together, let’s turn those impossible days into a series of delightful, doable moments. Subscribe now, and let’s keep making magic together.
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s no secret that stress is an ever-present companion for many. However, there’s a specific type of stress that’s quietly wreaking havoc on the lives of busy women, particularly Black women, and it often flies under the radar: time stress. This silent killer is not just about feeling rushed; it’s a profound and pervasive issue that impacts health, relationships, and overall well-being. Understanding Time Stress Time stress is the relentless feeling of not having enough time to accomplish everything. It’s that nagging sensation of always being behind, of tasks piling up faster than you can complete them. Unlike general stress, which can arise from various sources, time stress specifically stems from the constant pressure to meet deadlines, fulfill responsibilities, and manage multiple roles simultaneously. For women, especially those juggling careers, family, social obligations, and personal aspirations, time stress can feel like an ever-tightening noose. The expectation to excel in all areas of life adds a unique and often overwhelming layer of stress. The Unique Burden on Women Why does time stress hit women harder? The answer lies in the multiple roles and societal expectations placed on women. As primary caregivers, homemakers, and professionals, women often find themselves in a perpetual state of multitasking. This can lead to a chronic sense of urgency and the feeling of being stretched too thin. Moreover, societal pressures and the portrayal of ‘perfect lives’ on social media exacerbate this stress. Women see curated snapshots of others’ seemingly perfect lives and feel compelled to measure up, leading to a cycle of comparison and inadequacy. Health Impacts of Time Stress Time stress is not just a mental burden; it has tangible physical and emotional consequences. According to a 2019 Gallup poll, 60% of women in the United States reported feeling stressed most of the time. This chronic stress elevates cortisol levels, which is linked to several health issues: Cardiovascular Diseases : Chronic stress is a significant risk factor for heart disease. Weight Gain : Elevated cortisol can lead to the accumulation of abdominal fat. Mental Health Issues : Anxiety, depression, and burnout are prevalent among those experiencing time stress. Sleep Disorders : The constant pressure can lead to insomnia and poor sleep quality, which in turn exacerbate stress. Digestive Problems : Stress impacts the digestive system, causing discomfort and other gastrointestinal issues. Recognizing and Addressing Time Stress Recognizing the presence of time stress is the first crucial step towards managing it. It’s important to understand that feeling perpetually rushed and overwhelmed is not normal and should not be ignored. Here are some practical strategies to manage time stress: Prioritize Self-Care : Incorporate self-care into your routine . Activities such as yoga, meditation, and simple walks can significantly reduce stress levels. Mindful Breathing Techniques : Practices like left nostril breathing can help calm your nervous system and reduce stress. This simple exercise can be integrated into your daily routine. Set Realistic Goals : Avoid setting unrealistic expectations. Break down tasks into manageable steps and celebrate small accomplishments. Limit Social Media : Reduce time spent on social media to avoid the stress of comparison. Focus on your journey and progress rather than others’ curated lives. Seek Support : Don’t hesitate to ask for help from friends, family, or professionals. Sharing responsibilities can lighten your load and provide much-needed support. Create a Time Audit : Track your time for a week to identify time-wasting activities and replace them with more productive or relaxing ones. Embrace Imperfection : Accept that it’s okay not to do everything perfectly. Let go of unrealistic standards and give yourself grace. The Path to Freedom Time stress is a pervasive issue that silently impacts the health and well-being of busy women. By acknowledging its presence and actively taking steps to manage it, we can reclaim our time and mental peace. Remember, your well-being is paramount, and managing time stress is a vital step towards a healthier, more balanced life. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by time stress, it’s time to take action. Explore the services offered at Hella Well with Danielle for personalized support, guided meditations, and powerful tools designed to help you manage and reduce time stress. Stay well and remember to be kind to yourself.
